071414meouetsami

 -- arcaneArtisan [AA] began pestering taciturnContagion [TC] at 06:23 --

 [06:24] AA: Sami comes out of her room, walking toward the area of the ship Libby's been hanging out in. Her eyes are still puffy and red, but she looks rested for the first time in....well, months, really, but especially better than the last few days.

 [06:25] AA: Her hair's greasy and uncombed.

 [06:26] AA: (( I'm not sure what Meouet's doing at the moment, so I'll await a description until I have Sami greet her. ))

 [06:26] TC: Meouet exits Libby's room, pausing to double check that she's not forgotten something in her sylladex before moving on.

 [06:26] AA: "Oh. Hi Meouet."

 [06:26] TC: "Sami. You are... more pink than I remember humans being."

 [06:27] AA: "Oh....yeah. I've....I've kind of been crying since we got on the ark."

 [06:28] TC: "You all certainly seem to treat loss very different than we do. Did humans not perish every day on your planet?"

 [06:28] AA: Sami rubs the back of her neck.

 [06:28] AA: "Yeah, I mean....they did. But not the people you love."

 [06:29] TC: "You didn't accept that at some point, there was going to be loss for either you or her? Especially in this game."

 [06:29] AA: Sami just hangs her head. "I had hoped it would be me, if it was either of us."

 [06:30] AA: "But I really hoped it wouldn't be either of us."

 [06:30] TC: "Thinking that way does no good. I understand this is still fairly recent for you, but I think of the humans you are likely the one who can handle something like this."

 [06:31] TC: "Reality is harsh. For us, even friends we had as grubs... I would say for the cavern I was in? We lost nearly half of our friends. Our culture kind of conditions us for loss. Perhaps yours is much softer. This doesn't mean you can't grow from it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:32] AA: "Yeah....but Beau wasn't just a friend. Hell, I didn't even think I would ever say the words '*just* a friend.'"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:32] TC: "After all, I don't think the human Beau would want you to spend your life wallowing over her demise. She would want you to go on and live happily, right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:33] AA: "That's what Scarlet said too." Sami looks ashamed.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:33] TC: "It's okay to mourn some. Just don't allow it to consume you. You will make yourself weak and then her sacrifice will be for nothing."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:34] TC: Meouet leans against the wall of the ark.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:34] AA: Sami sighs.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:35] AA: "I never thought I would ever fall in love. It's not even something I was INTERESTED in until she came around."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:36] AA: "I guess I just never thought about how much it would hurt to have my heart broken."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:37] AA: "And I just keep thinking....this game has SO MANY ways to cheat death. There's got to be one that will work for her..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:37] TC: "We cannot help chemistry. Or fate, unfortunately. I can fairly honestly say that if the scratch were not initiated... were we to follow Jack's plan blindly? I think I would be moping in a much similar way, though for a different quadrant."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:38] AA: "Oh?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:38] TC: "I cannot fault you too much, other than your indulging in it to this level."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:39] AA: "Well....I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but that does actually make me feel a little better. If even YOU could feel this way..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:39] TC: "We're all selfish. When something is taken from us, we become upset. That is how it is."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:40] AA: "Is....is that what I'm doing? I'm....being selfish?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:40] AA: Sami looks stunned.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:40] AA: "No, but this is all about Beau!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:40] TC: "She asked you to stop your world?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:42] AA: Sami opens her mouth as if she's going to reply, but then looks at her feet. "No."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:44] AA: Sami chuckles ruefully. "You're right. I've been making this all about me, haven't I?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:44] TC: "From what I understand, Red partners want the best for you in ways that are different from pale romance. I don't know a single person on this ark even now that would wish you to give up just to indulge in painful feelings. As for someone who was red for you? This is not the fate they left you behind to pursue."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:45] TC: "It really is okay to be selfish for a little while. Just don't let it become the only thing you are capable of."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:45] AA: "But what *am* I supposed to do?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:47] TC: "You have nothing to seek revenge against and no foreseeable way to... bring her back? So, perhaps just be the best you can in spite of it all. It is probably the best outcome, though not the easiest."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:48] AA: Sami closes her eyes and seems to think for a long time.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:48] TC: "And... don't worry." Meouet smiles, "I've heard true red feelings are eternal. She is probably sending what love she can from wherever she is."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:49] AA: Sami sheds a single tear at that, but manages to stop herself from breaking down again.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:49] TC: "Don't build too much of a wall or it won't reach you. Okay?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:49] AA: "Okay. I'll try. But I'm not going to stop looking for a way to bring her back. I'll just....I'll stop this fuckin' pity party."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:49] AA: "Is that enough?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:50] AA: Sami looks really vulnerable and unsure of herself when she asks this.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:51] TC: "It's your decision." Meouet shrugs. "Between you and I, I feel a little guilt over practically destroying an entire universe over my feelings. We could have waited to scratch. If it helps you, be angry at me. We may have been better prepared if I wasn't selfish and waited."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:52] AA: "No. It wasn't your fault Meouet. I could've said no. Anyone of us could have."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:52] AA: "Even..." Sami chokes up a little bit, but swallows and continues. "Beau could've dropped out at any time."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:53] AA: She punches the bridge her nose between her fingers, wiping at the watering eyes. But she seems to be keeping it together.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:53] AA: "The only person who's fault it is was Jack's. And he's dead now."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:54] TC: "No. Even from the tower, I was told the party had a strong sense of duty. Did you need to continue this at another time? I don't want you to leak too much."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:54] AA: "No. I'm....I'm okay. I....I actually think I'm feeling better, Meouet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:55] TC: "That's good, then."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:55] AA: "Everyone's been so nice to me since it happened. And it's sweet of them....but you're the first one to tell me what a selfish brat I've been."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:55] AA: "And I can't keep doing that."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:55] TC: "Think they're all jadebloods, eh?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:55] AA: "Huh?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:56] TC: "sorry." Meouet dismissively waves her hands.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:57] AA: "I kind of wanted to ask Libby about something....but..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:57] AA: Sami steels her resolve.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:57] AA: "It can wait. I should probably take a shower. And eat breakfast."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [06:57] TC: "Ah... well... I've got to run. I think I left... a... piece of technology on... in my block. Good luck with that."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;margin-right:0px;-qt-block-indent:0;text-indent:0px;"> [06:57] AA: "Okay. Thanks Meouet."