071314samiscarlet

 -- arcaneArtisan [AA] began pestering ravishingCalypso [RC] at 21:11 --

 [09:12] AA: Sami, dressed all in black and with swollen eyes--though no longer actively leaking from every hole on her face--approaches Scarlet timidly.

 [09:12] AA: Her voice comes out timid.

 [09:13] AA: "Hey, Scarlet."

 [09:15] RC: Scarlet nods. "Hello, Sami. How are you holding up?"

 [09:16] AA: "Uh....still feel worse than I've ever felt in my fuckin' life." She sighs when she says this, rather than sounding mad or anything.

 [09:16] RC: "It isn't easy, Sami. Would you like some tea?" She stands gracefully, gesturing towars a small pot she has steaming on a counter.

 [09:17] AA: Sami nods. She's too exhausted to even care that she's gotten in trouble for accepting drinks from Scarlet before.

 [09:17] RC: Scarlet pours two mugs of tea, and hands one to Sami. "Why don't you talk it out, hmm?"

 [09:18] AA: "I think....if I talk about it I might start crying again."

 [09:19] AA: "I just keep asking myself 'what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently that would've saved her?'"

 [09:20] AA: "The best I can figure is....maybe I should've just did what Jack asked back on LOPAP. Then we wouldn't have assaulted Jack's temple till we were stronger, and maybe..."

 [09:20] AA: "...it's my fault. I mean, I know Jack's the one who killed her, but I basically handed him the tools!"

 [09:20] AA: Her eyes are watering again.

 [09:22] AA: "She was only even on that planet because she wanted to protect me! She could've gone with the team that did the Scratch. That's what I should have done. I should've told her Meouet needed her to do the Scratch. And then she'd have survived. Maybe I wouldn't have, but that would've been worth it, y'know?!"

 [09:22] RC: Scarlet puts her arms around Sami and makes cooing noises. "Hush hush now. It's not your fault at all. You had no control over any of what happened. You did your best, and that's all anyone can ask of you, right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:22] AA: "But she trusted me to have her back. And I let her down."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:23] AA: "I mean....I know if she were here right now she would NEVER give me shit about it. But that's just because she was so sweet. And she made the mistake of falling in love with me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:24] AA: "You know, her butler's the one who saved ME from Jack?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:24] RC: "Sami, you did have her back, as much as you were able. I want you to ask yourself a very serious question, right now, though, Sami." She pats her hair. "If your places were reversed, and she had been incapable of saving you from HIM, would you want her to feel this way?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:25] AA: "No, of course not!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:25] RC: "Then why on Arena do you think she would want this from you?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:26] AA: Sami just sniffles.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:26] AA: "So even after she's gone, I'm still fuckin' failing her."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:28] RC: Scarlet sighs. "Drink your tea. You're just having a hard time with remembering how much she cared for you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:28] AA: Sami drinks the tea.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:29] RC: ((do you relent to the tea's effects?))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:29] AA: (( Hahaha it IS drugged. Oh, Sami, you poor little idiot. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:29] AA: (( Yes. She's not even thinking about fighting anything. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:30] RC: ((It's only slightly. It makes her feel warm, comforted, and talkative.))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:30] AA: (( Ah. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:30] AA: "This is good tea."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:31] AA: "Hey Scarlet? Just tell me to fuck off if I'm getting too personal here..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:31] AA: "...but what's it like to die?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:31] RC: "When it happened to me? Terrifying, but sudden. My last thoughts were of Herald."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:32] RC: I felt a brief flash of pain, it barely registered.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:32] RC: ((" ... "))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:32] AA: (( Hmm? ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:32] RC: ((The above should be in quotes))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:32] AA: (( Oh. Sorry. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:33] AA: "What about....after? Do you remember anything?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:33] RC: "I woke up, and I felt... hollow. Not bad, necessarily, but I knew some vital component was missing."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:34] AA: "Huh."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:35] AA: "Were you....sad? Or angry? Or....lonely?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:35] AA: Sami's eyes water a little bit again, but not as bad as before. The tea seems to be taking the edge off.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:36] RC: "I was lonely, as I missed Herald. I was angry at Jack for what he'd done. I was sad because I had wanted so much out of life, but nothing came. Eventually, I grew to accept it, and even revel in my... inviolability."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:37] AA: "So....you would have been happier if Herald were with you." Sami says this as a statement more than a question.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:38] RC: "At first. Eventually, the pain faded, and I found love again." She rubs her wrist with a soft smile. "And you will too, Sami, don't think you wont."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:38] AA: Sami sits in silence for a bit.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:38] AA: "...what if I don't want to?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:39] RC: Scarlet sighs. "Then you wont. I'm not saying it would be soon. It will be a long time. A very long time. But would Beau want you to spend your life pining for her? Or would she want you to go laugh again?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:39] AA: Sami sighs.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:40] AA: "I wish I could. For her. But I don't know if I can."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:40] RC: "Take it at your own pace. We will be on this ship a long time, from what Libby said."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:41] AA: "Good. I think I could use a nap. If I could even sleep."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:42] AA: "Used to be, anytime I would fall asleep I'd fall into that time warp torture Jack had me in. Beau used to keep watch when I would sleep so she could tell me it was all okay when I woke up screaming..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:42] AA: "...now I don't have the dreams. But I can't fall asleep without her there!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:43] AA: She chuckles, but in a way that's more despairing than amused.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:44] RC: "Well, if it gets too bad, I have things that can make you sleep, if you like."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:44] RC: "It is understandable to take them in times of grief."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:44] AA: "Yeah, maybe so. Thanks, Scarlet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:45] AA: "And thanks for talking to me about....what it was like. I'm sorry if they were painful memories."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:45] AA: Sami looks at the floor for a little while, as if she's wrestling with something internally.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:45] RC: Scarlet nods and heads back over to her pot, opening a drawer underneath and grabbing a handful of small sachets. "Here." She crosses back, holding out her hand. "They'll help you sleep. And don't worry over it. There were hard times in the past, but I know my future will be much better. And so will yours. What you're going through right now is terrible."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:46] AA: "Thanks." Sami takes the satchets.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:47] AA: "...Scarlet?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:47] RC: "Sami?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:48] AA: She sighs as if deciding to ask a question she's been dreading. "You know how you died, but now you're back?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:48] RC: "Yes?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:48] AA: "Um....well, I mean....so that's a thing. That can happen. Right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:49] RC: "Not really. I am only here because Jack coded me into existence in an attempt to enact his vengeance."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:49] AA: Sami deflates. "Oh."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:49] RC: "Beau..." Scarlet sighs. "The Beau you knew is gone, BUT there is another Beau, who you may meet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:49] AA: "Huh?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:50] RC: "Do you understand what the scratch is?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:50] AA: "Kinda."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:50] RC: "Do you understand what the next world will be like?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:51] AA: "It's supposed to be like ours, I guess?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:51] AA: Sami sighs. "But even if there's a Beau there, she won't be MY Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:51] AA: "At least Scratch Universe Sami will still be happy with her, though."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:54] RC: Scarlet coughs, and shakes her head.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:54] RC: "She uh... She's not with Sami in the Scratch."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:54] AA: Sami looks disappointed. "Oh."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:55] RC: "That's not your fault though. Post-Scratch Sami is very different too."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:55] AA: "Oh, is she? What, is she a little shit or something?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:55] RC: "She's a military commander."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:56] AA: "Oh! She's a grown up?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:57] AA: "Well, I'm happy for her Colonel then. I always worry I disappointed him by not being into the military stuff."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:57] AA: "Oh god. I still have to tell him that Beau's not going to make it to anymore chess boxing training!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:57] AA: Sami cups her face in her hands.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:58] RC: "I think he knows, Sami."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:58] RC: "And I think you need to take a little time for you right now, hmm?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:58] AA: Sami nods sadly. Looks like she might be crying again.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [09:59] AA: "I'm going back to bed. I'm sorry I'm such a fuckin' mess."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [10:00] AA: "Thanks for the tea and....everything else."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [10:04] RC: "No problem. My door is always open."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [10:04] AA: "Sami nods, and waves a little as she walks out of the room."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [10:05] AA: (( No quotation marks on that one. Sorry. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [10:05] RC: ((whoo there you go.))