041715lilysami

[01:05] AA: Sami knocks on Lily's door.

 [01:06] GT: "Wh-who is it," Lily calls tentatively from inside.

 [01:07] AA: "It's me."

 [01:07] GT: "Are you going to kill me?"

 [01:07] AA: "Not tonight. Unless you try to kill me."

 [01:09] GT: "OK." Lily slowly opens the door.

 [01:10] AA: (( "Psych!" *Stabs* ))

 [01:10] GT: (('god damn it sami'))

 [01:10] AA: "So. Got any new tattoos I should see?"

 [01:10] GT: Lily's eyes widen and she takes a step back.

 [01:11] AA: Sami's eyes narrow. "You do. Don't you?"

 [01:11] GT: "H-how did you -"

 [01:12] AA: Sami pulls back her sleeve and displays a tattoo that looks, on first glance, like the symbol for Breath.

 [01:13] GT: Slowly, Lily turns around and lifts her shirt to reveal a similar symbol on her lower back, this one resembling a Mind symbol.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:13] GT: ((*tattoo))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:13] AA: Sami nods, then sighs. "Great. Well I guess that answers that then."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:13] AA: "If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one. Nor is it just the two of us."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:15] GT: She nods. Then she slaps her forehead. "God, Dad said something happened to you that you couldn't talk about and everything. 'How did you know', seriously."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:15] AA: "Yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] GT: "So...yeah. Figure I don't need to tell you why." She gives a little one-shouldered shrug. "Not like I can, anyway."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] AA: "You probably can, but I won't ask you to."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] AA: "I can figure out enough."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] GT: "Yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] AA: "And I can figure out that you didn't really have a choice."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:17] AA: "But I can't figure out why Seriad, of all people."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:17] GT: "...I made sure she didn't suffer, if it's worth anything. I put her in a coma before I...you know." She waves her hand, looking down.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:18] GT: "And..." She begins blinking heavily, trying not to cry. "In the end, she was OK with it. She...she helped me. She understood, sort of."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:19] AA: Sami bites at her lip. "Yeah. That sounds like her. I think she was a sad person, and I never quite broke through that."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:20] GT: "She wasn't sad," Lily says firmly. "She was brave."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:21] AA: "If you say so."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:21] AA: "You know. When it happened to me, I told the others the same thing. That they couldn't trust me. That they should probably kill me, or at least send me away. Because I would never be sure what I might have to do, and I had no way of telling them what exactly was wrong."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] AA: "I think Beau's probably figured it out by now."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] AA: "And the others probably suspect."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] AA: "But they decided to keep me around. I'll do what I can to make sure they do the same for you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] GT: She chuckles breathily. "Dunno if there'll be much of me to keep around after Mom's through with me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] AA: "What, Libby? She might be more sympathetic than you think."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] AA: "Although I imagine you'll get an earfull."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] GT: "Yeah." She sighs. "I did just kill someone, after all."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:24] AA: "I meant for putting yourself in a situation where you ended up with this contract."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:24] GT: "Oh. Yeah." She winces. "Yeah, no, I'm DEFINITELY getting an earful there."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "The Seriad thing she'll probably understand."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "I'm sorry this happened, Lil. It's not fun to have that sort of thing on your conscience, even if you had no choice."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] GT: "No." she shudders. "No, it really isn't."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:26] GT: "God. I really am turning into a mini-you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:26] AA: "Appropriate seeing as I'm apparently turning into a Libby."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:27] AA: "Look. I know that just because this happened doesn't make things cool between us. But I've gone through a lot of the same stuff you're going through now."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:27] AA: "If you need someone to talk to..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:27] AA: "...well, my door is always open."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:28] GT: "Heh." She grins. "No thanks to me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:29] GT: "...I'm sorry."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:29] AA: "You don't owe me an apology, Lil."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:30] AA: "Let's look toward the future from here on, huh? You're not as trapped as you feel at the moment. There are going to be times you have to do things, and get no choice in the matter. But you're still your own person, most of the time."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:31] GT: "Yes I fucking do," she says fiercely. "I treated you like SHIT."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:33] GT: "I thought it was easy, you know? Killing someone."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:33] AA: "It's not. I don't think I had really, truly cried since Beau died. That changed after it happened."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:33] GT: "But it's not. It's horrible and awful and you have to live with yourself knowing that someone was alive and now they're not because of you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:34] GT: ((dammit))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:34] AA: "Yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:34] AA: "And so far, it hasn't gone away."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:34] AA: "Maybe it never will. And maybe that's a good thing."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:37] GT: "How can - how can it be GOOD?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:37] AA: "Because it means that everything I do from now on, I'm doing in part to make sure his death wasn't in vain."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:38] AA: "And it means as long as I live, no one will forget him and what happened."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:38] AA: "And it lets me know that I still have a conscience."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] GT: "...I guess, yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] GT: "I'll make sure people don't forget Seriad."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] AA: "Good."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] AA: "That's all we can do for her, now."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] AA: "I still just can't figure out why anyone would want her dead though."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] AA: "She was so unassuming."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:41] GT: "Yeah. I just knew her as the burlesque dancer teen. It honestly took me by surprise too."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:41] GT: "I was like 'haha wait what'."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:42] AA: "In our universe she was just a quiet, bookish girl who got weird sex majjykk that she never even really got the chance to develop."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:42] GT: "Pff. Weird sex majjyk."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:42] AA: "You know I killed her the first time. While grimdark'ed."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:42] AA: "It was to rescue her from Jack's tiktok zombie stuff."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:42] AA: "And I brought her back right afterwards with a kiss."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:43] AA: "But I always tried to be a better friend to her afterward."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:43] AA: "I really thought she was going to be the first of us to god tier the right way."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:43] AA: "And I was going to be so proud of her."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:43] GT: "Yeah." She looks down.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:43] GT: "Too late for that now."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:44] AA: Sami pats Lily's shoulder. "I won't tell you not to blame yourself. And I won't tiptoe around the issue either. But....I don't know. I guess just know that I don't hate you for what happened."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:44] AA: "I can't promise the others won't. And I'm not going to be able to tell them what happened to you any more than I can tell them what happened to me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:45] AA: "But I'll do what I can to protect you, Lil."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:45] GT: She looks up again, smiling. "Thank you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:45] GT: "Having at least one person who understands is good enough for me, I think."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:45] AA: "Yeah. It makes a difference, right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:46] AA: "Okay. Try to get some sleep. Doir's taking you to see Libby tomorrow, and we both know what a row that'll be."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:46] AA: (( Gah. I need to stop watching british television all day before doing logs. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:46] GT: ((ehehe))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:47] GT: She lets out a breath. "No need to remind me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:48] GT: "And I - I tried. After Dad left."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:48] AA: "'Tried?'"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:48] GT: Her voice shakes. "My dreamself's dead, so I just - I just dream regular now, and -" She shudders.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:49] GT: "I just keep trying and trying and trying and she won't shut DOWN and then I take out the knife and - " She stops, breath hitching. "I don't think I'm gonna sleep for a while."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:50] AA: "Lily..." Sami pulls her into a hug. "...I know a thing or two about trying not to sleep because you're scared of what will happen in your dreams."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:52] AA: "Do you need me to stay in here tonight? So I can comfort you if you doze off?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:53] AA: "Beau used to do that for me, when Jack had my dreamself."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:53] GT: "Would you - would you do that?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:54] AA: Sami nods. "Yeah. At least for tonight. I'm not always going to be able to be with you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:55] GT: "I know." She sits down on the bed. "Sorry. I'll try to get better about it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:55] GT: "But...it'd be nice if you stayed. Just for a bit."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:55] AA: "It's okay. It takes a while."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:55] AA: "But I'll help you find your feet so you can stand on your own."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:58] AA: Sami pulls out her phone and sends off a quick text to Beau letting him know not to worry about her, and begins to make a palette on the floor of Lily's room.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:58] GT: Lily lies down on her bed, watching her work. "Thanks," she says quietly, as she closes her eyes.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:59] AA: "Sure thing. Night Lily."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:59] GT: "Night."