080914libbysami

 -- arcaneArtisan [AA] began pestering sanguineOracle [SO] at 02:30 --

 [02:30] AA: Sami comes up to Libby's office, and knocks on the door frame to announce her presence.

 [02:31] SO: "Come in," Libby says, not looking up from the pile of books on her desk.

 [02:32] AA: "Hi Libby. Thanks for....earlier. It helped to have a hand to hold through all that."

 [02:33] SO: She nods. "Don't mention it."

 [02:34] AA: "I wanted to ask your opinion on the Jack situation. Do you think we're in danger? Have I fucked us all over?"

 [02:35] AA: "Or do you think he can be....ughh, I don't want to use the word 'trust,' but....do you think we can sleep without someone keeping watch or whatever?"

 [02:36] SO: "I think Jack wont be much of a problem. He seems to have accepted that he was killed, and though only a few weeks have passed for us, he seems to have spent much longer before he came here."

 [02:37] AA: Sami nods. "Okay. It still feels so weird....just having him hanging around with us, after all we've seen and done." She sighs. "But I know I don't want to fight him again. I don't want to risk my friends, just for vengeance. If you don't think he's going to slit our throats in our sleep..." She sighs harder. "I'll just learn to live with the fact that he's here."

 [02:38] AA: "...is it tough for you? Seeing him here? I know your feelings for him are....'complicated' is probably not a strong enough word, but it's the best I can come up with."

 [02:39] SO: She finally pulls herself away from the books and leans back in her chair. "It is... unbelievably tough. If you have time for a chat, we can talk if you like. I'm sure Beau being ... HIMself, well, isn't easy for you, either."

 [02:40] AA: She nods. "If I'm not keeping you from anything you'd rather be doing."

 [02:41] SO: She shakes her head. "I have years. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Tea?"

 [02:41] AA: "Sure, thanks. I'll try some coffee, if you don't mind."

 [02:44] SO: She nods and stands, heading over to a small cabinet. She opens it up and starts brewing. "Did I ever tell you who Jack was, on Arena?"

 [02:45] AA: She shakes her head. "No, I don't think you did. I know he was a programmer, but that's about it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:48] SO: "How familiar are you with our Caste System?" She glances down. "Milk and Sugar?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:49] AA: "Yes, please. And not that familiar. I know you're an Archivist and Scarlet's a Companion, and....I think for some reason Companions are higher status? Even though I'm not really clear what it is they DO."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:52] SO: "They don't. Companions are a funny thing in our system. They exist outside it, and only improve the status of those who choose them as partners... provided that person can still perform all their duties with a Companion as a partner."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:52] AA: "Ughh. That explains a lot about that business with Herald."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:52] SO: She brings the two mugs over, and sets one in front of Sami.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:53] SO: "Basically, completing a companion's primer is a way for twink males to say, 'I am so amazing I don't need a partner who has a purpose'."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:54] AA: Sami sighs. "Sounds like Twink males are really insecure about the size of their....whatever Twinks have."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:57] SO: She chuckles. "Indeed. Anyway, Twink Society was ruled over by the AI, GodOS. He was everything to us. Our diety, our parent, our teacher, our only friend, until we found a partner."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:58] AA: "Yeah....you told me once about how lonely it is to be a Twink. I don't know how you handle it. But I guess maybe what you guys want and need is different from humans."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:59] SO: "We need... absolute love and devotion. That's why Twinks are so possessive of their partners. While you may have a lover, and numerous friends who all help you... in our society, we only have our partner. ONLY our partner."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:00] SO: "When two pair up, it isn't 'This is my life, and this is yours'. It's an 'Us vs. Them' mentality."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:01] AA: "Hmm. It almost sounds romantic when you put it like that."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:02] SO: "To us, at least, it is."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:03] SO: "Well, when we were selected to play, it was only the four of us.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:03] AA: "But how do you feel that way about someone you didn't even get to choose? Someone who just sort of....wins you. Like a prize?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:05] AA: "Don't get me wrong. I've seen you with two partners now. I know it's really love. I'm not questioning that part. I just....don't get how it happens."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:05] SO: Libby chuckles. "You imply that female twinks are powerless in the process, in deciding who we end up with. One of the most inviolable rules of Twink Society, is that no one can dictate to a twink what she may place on her primer."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:06] AA: "Well that's good at least."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:07] SO: "Would you like to see mine?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:07] AA: "Sure."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:10] SO: Libby pulls two pieces of paper out of her desk. "This is the Primer I gave Ryspor." She lays the first piece of paper down, and it lists three items: -Forge a Legendary Space Weapon, -Ask me to be your Matesprite, -Find Mooregard.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:11] SO: She lays a second one down, next to it. "This is the Primer I gave Balish." It only has one entry: -Be Balish.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:13] AA: "Aww. That's really sweet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:14] AA: "I'm surprised they're so short. I expected them to be like....huge tomes, with flow charts and stuff."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:14] AA: "I guess when I hear the word 'primer' I just picture like a textbook or something."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:15] SO: She shrugs. "Female twinks have a fair amount of control over who we select, provided a duel isn't called. Duels like that... are extremely rare. And those are very short. Those are for non twinks. This is the primer I had when Jack killed me." She pulls a book out of her captchalogue, and lays it in front of you.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:16] AA: "Wow. Yeah, that's more what I was expecting. But wait--Warriors are lower castes than Programmers, right? If duels can decide your choices, what's stopping the Warriors from just beating up all the programmers?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:17] AA: "I know Herald seemed to be one of the only guys in existence that Jack was afraid of, so I doubt most Programmers are more badass on Arena than they are on Earth."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:18] SO: "On Arena, Warriors are the second-lowest caste, and Programmers are the highest. Most Warriors have never SEEN a Companion, much less considered asking one for her Primer."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:19] AA: "But Herald did. What made him so bold?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:20] AA: "Or was that Scarlet? She seems like the sort of person who doesn't give a shit about what propriety says."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:21] SO: "Herald didn't meet Scarlet until we were preparing for the game. He didn't request her Primer until the game had already begun. He snuck through and completed her Primer without Jack knowing."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:23] AA: Sami gives a rueful laugh. "I wonder if all of this" she raises her hands as if to indicate 'everything' "was just because Jack never got over his crush on Scarlet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:23] SO: "I'd believe it." She isn't laughing.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:23] AA: She realizes what she's said and then winces. "Oh....I'm sorry, Libby. I didn't even think....he filled your primer after that, right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:24] SO: "Jack considered Scarlet his. When I came to him with my primer after Scarlet and Herald got together, he ripped my eyes out for not having forseen it. Said my physical sight was distracting me from my purpose."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:25] AA: "Oh my god. I mean I knew he did that to you, and I was horrified even then....but somehow it sounds even worse than I imagined it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:26] AA: "Was he always cruel? Even before Scarlet dumped him? Or was that the first time that side of him came out?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:30] SO: "He had always been cruel. But he was the High Programmer. Second only to GodOS in our society."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:30] SO: She blushes. "Thinking the High Programmer could love me... It would be like finding out you were the chosen one."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:31] AA: "...yeah." Sami sounds unconvinced, but she's not going to make an issue of it.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:33] SO: Libby sighs. "Anyway, I'm rambling. The point is, I had a Creche-Crush on Jack. Always had. He never wanted me, he wanted Scarlet. I was never an option, for either of them."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:34] AA: "That sounds terrible, Libby. I kind of know how you feel though. I mean....I never thought romance was for me in the first place, but especially after we were the last eight humans in existence, I figured I was going to be an eternal bachelorette..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:35] AA: "I was so caught offguard when Beau confessed to me..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:35] SO: "And yet you were one of the first to pair up."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:35] AA: She chuckles, with a warm smile. First warm smile she's had in forever. "I guess I did."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:35] AA: (( Was. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:35] AA: (( Guess I was. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:36] AA: She sighs. "I got lucky. Which is weird, since *she* was supposed to be the lucky one."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:37] SO: "I suppose you have a point. Regardless... How are things with your new Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:38] AA: Sami looks pained. "I don't know. It's....it's like he's her in every way, except..." she trails off.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:38] SO: "Except?" She tilts her head. "Wait, do humans care about gender?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:40] AA: Sami looks away. "...I don't know. I never did BEFORE. But I never thought about romance or..." she blushes a little "...other stuff back then."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:40] AA: "But after I was with Beau....I got used to her soft skin, and the smell of her hair..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:41] SO: Libby takes a sip of her coffee. "Have you tried?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:41] AA: "And boys have always just been so weird. Like Doir, and Nate, and Dean, and Leon..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:41] AA: "Tried what?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:43] SO: "Intercourse. Throwing yourself into it with 'wild abandon', just to see what happens?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:43] AA: She blushes. "Beau and I never....I mean, we did STUFF. Just....not the....whole thing, you know? But....we were only thirteen. We thought we had time."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:44] SO: "This is true. Have you tried having sloppy makeouts then?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:44] SO: Libby says this like it's a technical term.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:44] AA: She blushes and looks away, but smiles. "Yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:44] SO: "How did it go?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:44] AA: Her voice sounds dreamy. "It was nice."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:45] AA: "I mean, we were clumsy about it at first. Neither one of us really knew how to kiss..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:45] AA: "...but we got better at it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:46] SO: Libby coughs. "I mean with male Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:46] AA: Sami goes tense.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:46] AA: "I couldn't do that, Libby. He's hurting so bad..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:46] AA: "...if I started a relationship with him just to 'see if I could,' and found out I couldn't..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:47] AA: "...it would crush him. I could never forgive myself.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:48] SO: "You're both hurting. You both require solace. What if this would help?" She takes another sip. "You could spend this entire trip with that angsty pain in your heart, wondering 'What if?' Or you could try, and know for sure, and direct your healing from there."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:50] AA: "...but to dangle that in front of him, and then snatch it away..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:51] AA: Sami shudders. "If I did it, I would have to be ready to commit to him, even if I realized halfway through I can't feel that way about a boy."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:51] AA: She sighs. "But then again, it's not like I don't know if I could feel that way about another girl, either."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:51] AA: (( For get that "it's not like" part. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:52] AA: (( It's just "I don't know if I could feel that way..." ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:52] SO: "Then explain everything before hand. Tell him your thoughts on the matter, what you want and need, how you feel, your concerns, including your gender concerns. Then leave it up to him if he wants to try or not. If you and Beau were good friends, shouldn't you be able to talk to him about it?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:54] AA: Sami thinks about this for a good long while without saying anything.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:55] SO: Libby says nothing, but pulls a small tupperware container full of cookies out of her desk, and sets it between them. "I hope you like chocolate."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:55] AA: "Thanks." She takes one, and nibbles on it, focusing more on her thoughts than on the cookie.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:56] SO: Libby sighs. "I assume you regret it?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:56] AA: "...what? The deal?" She thinks about this, too.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:56] AA: "...no. I don't think I regret it. I mean....it didn't go quite how I wanted it to go..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:57] AA: "...but whatever ends up happening between me and Beau....I'm happy I get to know him. And be with him."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:57] AA: "And I'm happy he got to see his friends again and....a VERSION of the Sami he lost."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:57] SO: She nods. "Some people think that majyyk means a world without consequences. I'm glad you're learning that's not the case."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:58] AA: "Yeah. There's always a price."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:58] AA: "And it's always just a little more than you're comfortable with paying, from what I've seen."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [03:58] AA: "Except when it's WAY more than you're comfortable with paying."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:00] SO: Libby tilts her head back. "Don't remind me. Twenty-seven thousand galactic years later, and I'm still paying."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:01] AA: "Wow. 27,000. I can't imagine living that long."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:01] AA: "Is a galactic year about as long as an Earth year?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:04] SO: "No."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:05] SO: "A galactic year is how long it takes for your star to rotate around galactic central point. By your reckoning, one galactic year is 225 to 250 million years."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:05] AA: "...holy shit, Libby."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:06] SO: She takes a long drink of coffee.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:06] AA: "How are you still sane after all that?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:07] SO: "Who said I was sane? I've come so far round the bend that I'm allowing myself to be caught up in all this petty dormitory drama again."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:07] AA: Sami sighs. "Yeah. Sorry for getting you caught up in all this."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:07] SO: "Actually... I have a tendency to sleep through most of it. I have powerful narcotics that can put me out for millenia."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:08] SO: Libby shrugs. "It could be worse. I could be Doir."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:08] AA: Sami laughs, but then feels bad and looks away ashamed. "I shouldn't laugh. He's my friend. One of my best friends, technically."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:09] AA: "...and apparently like three times smarter than me." Her voice is irritated.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:10] AA: "Which is....kind of disheartening. I knew I wasn't the smartest person on the team, but I didn't think I was that far behind."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:14] AA: "But to answer your question earlier about Beau....I guess part of me feels like if I laid my cards on the table with him, it would be like offering him a Horrorterror Bargain. He would almost certainly take the gamble....and then I could end up springing the costs on him later when he least expects it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:14] AA: She sighs. "I guess I just kind of want to protect him from that."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:16] SO: "Then be up front. Tell him everything. At a certain point, you have to let him choose for himself. Do you respect him enough to allow him to make his own choice?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:17] AA: Sami sighs, and after a while, she nods. "Yeah....you're right. I just hope I'm not setting him up for heartbreak."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:18] SO: "Every time you run the risk with someone, you're setting yourselves up for heartbreak."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:19] AA: "It seems like heartbreak is one thing Paradox Space never runs out of."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:19] AA: "Okay. Thanks for chatting with me Libby."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:19] SO: She lifts her coffee mug in mock salute. "That and devils for you to make a deal with."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:19] SO: "Don't worry about it. I sense we'll be working together a lot."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:20] AA: "And....I'm sorry my decision has made you have to face down memories of your own broken heart all the time"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:21] SO: Libby shakes her head. "It's nice to think about him sometimes."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:21] AA: "I won't pretend to know how that could be true. But I'm glad there were good times to go with the bad ones."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:22] AA: She gets up and leaves, with a wave. "Bye Libby."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [04:24] SO: "Bye Sami." She finishes her coffee.