032115 Sami Miloko

 [12:01] AA: Sami comes up to Miloko's room and knocks gently. "Miloko? Hey, I heard you've been a little withdrawn lately. Anything you want to talk about, hon?"

 [12:02] TT: the only response is a squeak and the sound of the door being locked

 [12:02] AA: "Milly? You okay?"

 [12:03] TT: "go a-away!?"

 [12:03] AA: Sami puts her back against the door, slumps down on the floor and pulls out her phone, and begins texting.

 [12:03] AA: * * *

 [12:03] AA: What's wrong, Miloko?

 [12:04] AA: Rubi said you've been upset ever since Derse.

 [12:04] AA: Did that ghost-me do anything to you?

 [12:05] TT: j-just a h-headache?

 [12:05] TT: I hit my h-head p-pretty h-hard w-when the t-trees a-appeared?

 [12:06] AA: Ouch. That sucks. You want me to get one of the sylphs to take a look at you?

 [12:09] TT: I d-don't w-want to i-inconvenience t-them?

 [12:09] AA: Don't worry about it! The post-scratchers need practice, and watching an experienced Sylph work is a good way to get it without anyone's life being on the line.

 [12:10] AA: Plus, you want to make sure it's not a concussion!

 [12:13] TT: ugh, can t-they c-come h-here? the l-lights are r-really b-bright t-these d-days?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:13] AA: Yeah, of course. I'll text Seriad right now.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:13] AA: Kate's probably the better healer, but it's best not to chance getting Jack's attention when it's not life or death.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:13] AA: And Seriad's good at what she does too.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:14] AA: I'll tell her to pick up Rubi and Mel--er....Mary on her way.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:14] AA: So they can see how a Sylph does her thing.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:15] TT: o-okay?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:15] AA: So you're sure that's all that's bothering you?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:15] TT: no

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:15] AA: No you're not sure, or no that's not all that's bothering you?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:17] TT: no, I'm b-bothered by the f-fact t-that I'm g-going to die?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:18] AA: That's probably a long way off, Miloko. Especially if you manage to godtier.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: As long as you're careful, at any rate.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: I admit this game is pretty deadly.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: But death is never a sure thing.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: We vets survived.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:20] TT: not t-that? I was t-talking a-about the f-fact t-that I'm a d-danger to e-everyone b-because of s-someone e-else's d-decision?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:21] AA: Oh....you mean the thing we talked about earlier?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:22] AA: Milly, you've just got to be careful. That's all.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:22] TT: t-that's d-difficult w-when I h-have no c-clue w-what I'm d-doing?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:23] AA: Yeah. I can see where that would make it tough. :(

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:23] AA: I think the main thing, though, is to not try to grasp power for its own sake.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:23] AA: I think the very fact that you don't want to abuse your power is going to be go a long way to keeping you from hurting people with it.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:24] TT: can I g-give it up?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:24] AA: I don't know. I think you would need shenanicite at the very least.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:26] TT: w-would you k-know w-where to f-find s-some?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:27] AA: No. Apparently all of it disappeared recently.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:27] TT: of c-course it did?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:28] AA: Jack more or less made the stuff his team got through some horrible procedure involving killing Fate.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:28] TT: oh no?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:28] AA: Yeah.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:29] AA: Jack is not a nice person.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:29] TT: he s-scares me a-almost as m-much as you do?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:30] AA: ...I scare you?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:30] AA: I scare you more than JACK?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:32] TT: y-yeah? e-even if t-that g-ghost w-wasn't the s-same you as you? it's s-still a v-version of you?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:32] AA: ...yeah. That's fair. I understand she's spooky. But I'm trying to track her down and make sure she won't be a threat to you guys anymore.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:33] AA: You gotta know, Milly, there's nothing higher on my list of priorities than keeping as many of you alive and safe as I can.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:34] TT: m-maybe t-that'd be m-more c-comforting to s-someone who i-isn't a p-potential d-danger to e-everyone?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:35] AA: Milly, I don't think you're as big a danger as a lot of teammates. Just as long as you keep this fear of hurting people in your heart, I don't think you're as dangerous as a lot of people who are just reckless.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:38] TT: I'm a R-Rage p-player t-though? the f-fear is e-exactly w-what w-worries me? w-what if I p-panic and h-hurt p-people b-because I'm i-inexperienced?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:39] TT: or w-what if s-someone g-gets h-hurt b-because I j-just s-stand t-there f-frozen by f-fear a-again?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:39] AA: It's always a possibility, Miloko. But that's a possibility with anyone.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:40] AA: The main reason a Master class player is dangerous is because when they really come into their power, no one else can stand against them if they choose to use that power against their teammates.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:40] AA: And I don't think that's going to happen with you.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:40] AA: The fact you care so much about hurting people is what makes me think you can handle this. As long as you don't try to run before you walk.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:41] TT: w-what if I'm a-afraid of e-even t-trying to s-stand?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:43] AA: Then depend on your friends to help you up.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:43] AA: And Darmok. I know Darmok wouldn't want you to be too afraid to stand, Milly.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:48] TT: I k-know? I'm j-just w-worried a-about b-biting off m-more t-than I can h-handle?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:49] TT: I k-know w-what h-happens w-when y-you're not c-completely c-careful w-with m-magic t-type s-stuff?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:50] TT: how q-quickly t-things go w-wrong?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:50] AA: Yeah. It can. So I don't really know what to tell you there, Milly. It's wise to be a little scared when dealing with that stuff.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:51] AA: But you can't let that fear paralyze you. Fear is there to tell you to tread lightly. You can't depend on it to tell you what not to do.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:51] TT: s-sigh? m-maybe I s-should w-warn e-everyone? j-just in c-case?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:53] AA: Warn them about....the thing we discussed?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] AA: I don't know. Are you sure that's how you want to handle it?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] AA: Once a secret's out, there's no way to make it secret again.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] AA: Believe me, I know.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] AA: But then again....people have a lot of reasons to be scared of me, and a lot of reason to want me dead. And I've been open about all that stuff.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] AA: Well, most of it.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:55] AA: There are some things I physically can't explain to people, for example.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:55] AA: But I think they've just about figured it out by now anyway.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:55] TT: I d-don't k-know? I h-hate the f-feeling of k-keeping s-secrets t-though? and I c-can't b-blame t-them for not w-wanting the r-risk?

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:55] AA: Yeah. So do I.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:56] AA: So I guess I understand why you want to come out of the closet as it were.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:56] AA: I'm scared for you though Milly. I don't want anyone to try to take advantage of you because of it. Or to treat you badly because of it.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:57] AA: But I'll leave the decision up to you. If you want to be open about it....I'll support your decision. And I'll just keep an eye out for anyone who might try to do you wrong because of it.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:57] AA: But that's the best I can offer. I don't know what will happen if it becomes common knowledge. But I promise to always do the best I can for you, Milly. As long as you're not trying to use your powers against the others, I'll go to bat for you.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:58] AA: And I'm sure Darmok feels the same. Heck, he would probably support you even if you did use your powers against the others. <3

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:58] AA: But don't take that as an endorsement of that sort of behavior.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:59] TT: after a few minuts of silence on Miloko's end, the door unlocks and opens

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:00] AA: Sami falls backwards into Miloko's room, completely caught off guard by this.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:02] TT: Miloko waits for Sami to stand before embracing her, the only words from her mouth are a soft 't-thank you?'

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:03] AA: Sami's a little surprised, but once she's had time to process it, hugs Miloko back.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:05] TT: "it's g-good to k-know s-someone l-like you is l-looking out for us?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:05] TT: "to k-know t-that t-there are s-still g-good p-people? e-even a-after g-going t-through t-this g-game?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:08] AA: Sami pats Milly's back, but looks troubled. "...yeah." After a while of chewing at her lip, Sami says "I'm not....I mean..." she sighs "...I do my best, Milly. But don't think too much of me, okay? Everyone's got their bad side. Everyone's got breaking points. Maybe it's better not to think of me as a good person, but just a regular person. One who cares about you and the others."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:09] TT: "i-isn't l-looking out for o-others w-what d-defines s-someone as g-good?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] AA: "I don't know what makes someone good or bad anymore, Milly. I know I've done things that I'll never forgive myself for in the past, even if everyone else forgives me." She shakes her head. "Define me as what you want. Just don't make the mistake of seeing me as a hero. I'm just Sami."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:17] TT: "f-fine? y-you're not g-good? but you are k-kind? and t-that is s-something I can say is not c-common f-from my e-experiences w-with the v-veteran p-players?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:19] AA: Sami nods. "We've been through a lot Milly. The others don't mean to be unkind, they've just..." Sami sighs. "They've seen some shit, to be frank. Try to be patient with them, huh? I think they all care about you too, they're just tired and scared and stressed out. And seeing you guys reminds us of how we were when we entered....and makes us scared the same things that are going to happen to you g

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:19] AA: uys that happened to us."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:19] AA: "And for all we're 'veterans,' we're also still just a bunch of kids. We really don't know the best way to protect you guys, and we're a bunch of awkward, shell-shocked dorks."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:21] AA: "So I think a lot of us might come off like jerks sometimes because we really just don't know the best way to help you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:24] TT: "t-then j-just say t-that? I d-don't t-think a-anyone w-would f-fault you for a-admiting t-that you a-aren't i-infailliable? but l-letting us a-assume you can h-handle e-everything and t-then s-seeing you f-fail w-with our own e-eyes? it c-creates d-doubt?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:24] AA: "...maybe you're right."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:26] TT: "a s-shock r-right?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:27] AA: Sami chuckles. "I'm sorry. It's just....my dad was this big military Colonel guy. My only idea of leadership is of this big, infallible, shouty guy who always knows what needs to happen next."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:27] AA: "I'm scared to let you guys know I'm lost because I want you to have confidence in what we're doing."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:30] TT: "y-yeah? I was h-head of a r-religion? t-there was a lot of l-lying t-that I was way l-less of a l-loser t-than I a-actually was?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">[01:30]  <span style="color:rgb(161,80,0);">TT: "t-that I d-didn't s-suck at the r-rituals? t-that t-there was a r-reason t-they c-chose me b-besides the f-fact I was a p-princess?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:30] AA: "Haha." Sami playfully ruffles Miloko's hair. "I don't think you're a loser. You had a boyfriend and real flesh and blood friends even before this game! I hadn't even ever met any of my friends in person when I started!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:32] TT: "and I a-actually d-didn't h-have f-friends b-before t-this g-game? e-except for my b-brother and s-sister?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:36] AA: "It must be really nice to have siblings. I always wanted a brother or sister."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] TT: "b-besides b-being s-similar in age and r-related, s-sibling are p-pretty m-much the s-same as c-close f-friends?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] AA: "Yeah. I'll bet it's really nice to have a friend who's always around, and who you get to grow up with."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:47] TT: "y-yeah, but it a-also m-means you h-have a lot m-more to l-lose if s-something bad h-happens?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:49] AA: "Yeah....you can't think that way though. If I had thought that way, I would've never had my time with Beau." Sami sighs. "It hurt worse than anything I ever felt when I lost Beau. But I wouldn't give up the time I had with her just to escape the pain of losing her."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:50] AA: Sami laughs. "And I know pain. I've probably been through more pain than anyone you've ever met, except maybe Libby. So when I say losing Beau hurt, believe me--it HURT. But I still wouldn't give up my time with her just to not feel that pain."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:01] TT: Miloko stares at her feet for a while before speaking up "I k-know? t-that's why I h-haven't g-given up yet?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:02] AA: Sami pats her on the shoulder. "Good girl. They haven't really beaten us until we give up."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:02] AA: "No matter what they do."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:03] AA: "It's why I didn't just get someone to assassinate my dreamself for all those months that Jack was torturing me. I couldn't give him the satisfaction."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:08] TT: "wow? t-that's i-impressive?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:09] AA: "It was probably pretty dumb of me. But I felt like it was a way to get back at him. I couldn't fight him, but I could damn well refuse to give him the satisfaction of breaking me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:13] TT: "wow, t-those h-have g-gotta be s-some not v-very fun m-memories?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:15] AA: "Yeah, they're not. I have doubts that I'm still a good person sometimes, Milly, but I will never doubt that I'm better than Jack."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:17] TT: "hey umm, a-after I get my h-head l-looked at and I go and try to p-practice my p-powers, if y-you've got f-free t-time, w-would you be w-willing to h-help me w-with s-something?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:17] AA: "Sure, what's up?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:19] TT: "I umm, w-well, I was g-going to try and p-plan a w-wedding?" she looks embarassed as she says this "for m-myself and D-Darmok?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:20] AA: "Really? Sure, I'd definitely like to try to make time for that!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:23] TT: "o-okay? I'd ask my m-mother, but I d-don't t-think her s-style c-choices q-quite s-suit me?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:24] AA: "Heh. I know what you mean. Lily was on my case trying to talk me into a wedding with Beau just the other day and was immediately suggesting letting Maenam design the dresses and....I mean Maenam's great and all but....yeah. Not my style at all."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:24] AA: "I'm not really a fashion designer though. The best I can do is give you some of my grist and help you alchemize something."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:26] TT: "r-really? e-even t-though we a-aren't g-getting any m-more g-grist y-you'd let me use s-some of y-your l-limited s-supply?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:27] AA: "I don't really use items much these days. All my stuff ends up cursed anyway. And clothes usually aren't very expensive, grist-wise. Plus I'm kind of hoping Doir figures out a way to reclaim grist from stuff we've alchemized when he starts delving into the SBURB interface."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:30] TT: "w-well, t-thanks for h-helping out a-anyways? y-you're the b-best m-mother-in-law s-slash o-older s-sister-in-law I c-could h-have a-asked for?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:32] AA: "Aww. Thanks Milly. I just hope you and Darmok can be as happy as Beau and I have been. No matter how bad things get, Beau always gives me strength when I feel weak. If you two can be that for each other, it's all either of you will ever need."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:33] AA: She gives Miloko another hug. "Okay. I've still got work to do today, so I'm going to go back and work on that some more. Seriad and the others should be around shortly. But if you need anything from me, don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [02:33] TT: "o-okay? bye S-Sami?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">[02:33] <span style="color:rgb(100,149,237);">AA: "Bye Milly."