080914beausami

 -- chessAficionado [CA] began pestering arcaneArtisan2 [AA] at 23:26 --

 [11:26] CA: ((test))

 [11:26] AA: (( howdy ))

 [11:28] CA: Beau followed Sami to the Library, his demeanor seemed slightly happy, if still a presence of underlying sadness...

 [11:28] AA: Sami's got her own little section of the library that she's more or less 'claimed,' with books and papers spread all over the table, with a lot having subjects like Horrorterrors and Chucklevoodoos, and a few with more general subjects like one would learn in high school. The notes are covered in doodles, many of which look like Beau.

 [11:29] AA: "Well, this is where I've been spending most of my time the last month or so."

 [11:30] CA: "Seems comfy"...

 [11:30] AA: "Not really. I never really learned to study."

 [11:31] CA: "Well, I could help if you'd like"...

 [11:32] AA: She sighs a little. "That'd be nice. It might hurt a little, but it'd be nice." She's sad.

 [11:33] CA: Beau sighs. "Sami... I know I'm not the Beau you knew but..."...

 [11:34] CA: "...If it hurts too much to be around me, you don't have to force yourself..."...

 [11:34] AA: Sami looks up at him, afraid she knows what he's going to ask.

 [11:35] AA: "No....I mean, it hurts....but it's kind of nice, too." She sighs. "You're not the Beau I knew, but....you're like her brother or something."

 [11:35] CA: "So... the Beau in this timeline was a girl huh?"...

 [11:36] AA: Sami nods. "Yeah. You want to see some pictures of her?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:36] CA: He smiles weakly. "Sure, I wonder how different she looks"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:37] AA: Sami decaptchalogs a sketchbook and opens it to a random page. She doesn't have to look hard. Every page seems to be filled with drawings of Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:37] AA: (( No " there. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:39] CA: "I must say, you're a very talented artist. Just like..." His white eyes widened and he seemed to look uncomfortable for a moment, before puting up a fake smile to avoid worrying Sami....

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:39] AA: "...yeah."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:40] AA: "...so she wasn't in your dreambubble? When you..." She looks pained.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:41] CA: "You are an amazing artist, I can see why you were smitten." He then frowned slightly. "No I'm afraid I didn't see her. If I had, I'd have brought her to this ark"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:42] AA: She sighs. "So even when I die, I might never see her again?" Her eyes are watering a little.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:43] CA: "I wouldn't say that Sami. I'd bet she'd make sure that you were there with her."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:44] CA: "But don't let yourself die for her sake Sami"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:44] CA: "I don't think she'd want that"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:44] AA: "I'm not going to. I mean....the thought crossed my mind. But....that's not me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:45] AA: She sighs. "But nothing lasts forever."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:45] AA: "Especially not life. Not in this world."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:46] AA: "I'm sorry. I've been gloomy ever since it happened. I'm probably a big disappointment after the Sami you knew." She still sounds sad, but she dries her eyes and sets her jaw.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:49] CA: "The Sami I knew died in the worst way imaginable... And you are just like her... Never call yourself a dissappointment because you are still the most amazing person I've met"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:49] AA: Sami sighs, but smiles a little. It's a sad smile though. "That's just like what she would've said."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:51] CA: "I may not be the one you loved, and I don't expect to ever be but I still want you to be happy"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:53] AA: "Thanks. I want you to be happy too." She chuckles ruefully. "You know, I was really scared that the Horrorterrors were going to screw me over on this. That you would be here, and you would be a zombie, or you would be from the Evil Universe. Or that you would be warped by the Horrorterror energies."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:54] AA: "Believe it or not, this is kind of a relief."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:56] CA: "From what I can tell, despite the obvious gender change, our universes were pretty similar...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:56] CA: so it could be worse"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:56] AA: "Yeah. You really are just like her."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:56] AA: An awkward silence follows. Sami's staring at her knees.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:57] CA: "I really am sorry..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:57] AA: "...for what?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:59] CA: "I wish I could be the Beau you thought I'd be... but I'm not... and it just feels like I keep failing you... just like I failed her..." His pure white eyes begin filling with tears...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [11:59] AA: "Beau, no! Don't do that! You aren't failing me!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:00] AA: Sami's put her arms around him before she knows what she's doing. When she realizes it, she jumps away, and looks away, as if in shame.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:00] AA: "I'm sorry. It's just....habits. You know?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:02] AA: She sighs. "I'm not mad or disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in myself. I..." she sighs. "...I just keep thinking to myself, what must SHE feel like, being alone and trapped in some dreambubble way out there without me. And here I am, basically REPLACING her..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:02] AA: "...I was weak. The horrorterrors tempted me. And I convinced myself I was doing it for her. Or you. Or whatever. But really....I know I was just being selfish."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:06] CA: "Samantha Heston, There are a lot of things you are and Selfish is not one of them."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:08] AA: Sami snorts dubiously. "Maybe your Sami wasn't. You didn't see me wallowing around in self-pity for the better part of a month after it happened. Don't you resent me for dragging you to this place and making you have to see the wrong Sami?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:11] CA: Beau looks genuinly shocked, before closing his eyes and smiling. "Why in Skaia would I hate you? You gave me the chance to see all my friends again. If anything I hate myself, for a lot of things, but now is not the time for that"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:12] AA: Sami looks down at her knees again. "...do you think SHE hates me? For bringing in a....a 'replacement' Beau?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:14] CA: "I don't think she does"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:14] AA: "What about you? How would YOU feel? If you knew your Sami had done that?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:17] CA: "I think I'd understand. Because I know exactly how you felt Sami....

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:17] CA: "When you died I... I tried to do anything to bring you back"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:18] AA: Sami looks sad, but nods.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:18] CA: "I swear I kissed your body a million times, just, I'd have done anything"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: Sami chuckles ruefully. "I would've tried that. If she had left a body. Jack....he basically ERASED her."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] CA: "I know that Sami, I died the same way she did..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:19] AA: "You did?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:20] AA: Her eyes start to water again. "Did it hurt?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:20] CA: He looks sad at telling her this but continues. "No. Death was almost instant."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:21] AA: "I know this is going to sound horrible....but it's actually kind of a relief. To know that....whatever he did, it wasn't enough to make her not be still out there somewhere."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:21] AA: "Even if I never find her again."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:25] CA: "I think you will"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:25] AA: "...do you mind if I ask what happened? To your Sami, I mean?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:25] CA: He pauses, and gulps...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:26] AA: "If it's too hard, you don't have to."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:26] AA: "I know how hard it was to talk about what happened to her for so long."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:27] CA: "Well um... She was uh..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:27] CA: He begins to shake slightly as his face grows a deathly pale...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:28] AA: She puts her hand on his shoulder. "Shh. Nevermind. It's okay."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:28] AA: "You don't have to talk about it."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:29] AA: "I'm sorry for asking."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:29] AA: "I of all people should've known how much it would hurt."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:29] CA: "N-No you... you have a right to know..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:32] AA: "Not if it hurts you. I don't want to hurt you, Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:35] AA: "...I could never want to hurt you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:36] CA: "She was killed... and I was forced to watch when she was... t-tortured to death and... and I couldn't help you... I was just as useless as ever..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:37] AA: "Oh god. Oh, Beau. I'm so sorry."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:39] CA: He clamps his eyes shut as tears begin to pour....

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:41] CA: "D-Damnit"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:42] AA: "Shh. I'm sorry I made you relive that, Beau."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:49] CA: "It isn't your fault" he manages to choke out...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:50] AA: "I know how useless you feel, too. Every time I think about Beau--my Beau--I think 'Maybe if I had gone grimdark earlier,' or 'what if I had sent her on Team Scratch instead,' or 'what if Butler had been protecting her instead of me.'"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:52] AA: Her eyes are watering, but she doesn't start crying.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:54] CA: Beau reaches out a shaky hand, and slowly holds Sami's shoulder, tears still fresh on his face...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:56] CA: Soon he pulls her into a tight hug. "P-Please... don't cry anymore..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:56] AA: Sami tenses, then, with a pained look, hugs Beau back in an effort to comfort him. "I stopped myself when Meouet pointed out to me....there's no way Beau would want me to think that way. Or that she would blame me."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:57] AA: She chuckles sadly. "And she's right. Even if I *had* failed her, it would hurt Beau way more to know I was blaming myself than anything else could. I know your Sami would feel the same way."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [12:59] AA: "Jack's the one to blame for Beau's death. Not me. And I know you weren't the one responsible for Sami's, either."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:00] AA: "And I know for a fact she'd be supremely pissed off if her girlfr--" Sami looks away "--BOYfriend was trying to shoulder the blame."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:05] CA: "Sami... I won't lie. I still love you but... don't feel like you have to love me back." He looks at her with a sad look. "I just want you to be happy." ...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:06] AA: Sami looks away, ending the hug.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:06] AA: "I want to Beau....GOD I want to. I just..." She sighs.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:07] AA: "You know, I was never interested in ANYONE until she confessed to me. I had never even thought about the possibility of being in love, or of being attracted to anyone..."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:09] AA: She sighs. "...and now another Beau is standing in front of me, doing the same thing. But I'm not the same Sami anymore. I don't know..." Sami sounds like she's really in pain.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:09] CA: "No you don't understand"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:09] CA: "I'm not your Beau"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:10] CA: "and you're not my Sami"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:10] AA: "No." Sami looks at her feet.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:10] CA: "So the idea that I'd expect you to love me is ridiculous"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] CA: "When I entered this game, I expected to gain pawns"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] CA: "Instead I found friends"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] CA: "And I'm so glad I did"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] CA: "And I want for you, what I want for you is what I want for all my friends"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:11] CA: "To be happy"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:14] AA: Sami gets up, and stands on her tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead. But it's a friendly kiss, not a romantic one. "Before we dated, Beau and I were best friends. I imagine it was the same with you." She sighs. "I'm not saying anything will ever happen....but if you don't think it would hurt too much....I'd like it if we could try to be that, at least."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:16] CA: Beau blushes slightly from the kiss, but smiles, pushing the images of Sami's death to the back of his mind. "Samantha Heston, I'd be honoured to be your friend."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:18] AA: Sami smiles. "Be careful, Beau Demain." she matches his inflection from when he said her name. "I haven't got many friends left. You might be biting off more than you can chew."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] CA: "I think I can manage, somehow..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] AA: "Beau....did they tell you anything about the postscratch, before Jack got to you?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] CA: "What do you mean?"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:22] AA: "...in the post scratch. The kids we're going to meet."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] AA: "Who are going to be playing with us, once we get to the new session."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] CA: "I'm afraid I know as much as you do"...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:23] AA: "No, that's the thing--I think I know more than you."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:24] AA: "Maso made them using some sort of genetic thing. Mixing a bunch of us together, to make babies, that they sent to versions of us in that world."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "We have a son, Beau. His name is Jack." She pulls out the sketchbook she showed him earlier, and flips to the last few pages. There are pictures of Jack, and of a huge troll with Sami's features.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "Jack Heston."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "And you have a daughter, too." Her voice turns disgusted. "With Tlaloc."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:25] AA: "I don't know her name."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:26] CA: "Ech, I'd rather not think of my days with Tlaloc...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:28] AA: "You said you can't leave the Ark, right? You're stuck in the dreambubble? When I get there..." She sighs. "I know technically they're hers, not yours....but your genes are probably basically the same! They would probably be like your kids, too. I could bring them to meet you!"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:29] CA: "That would be... very nice of you Sami... thank you..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:30] AA: Sami nods, then sighs. "Of course. We're friends. And....I guess you're kind of the mo--father of one of my sons."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:31] AA: Sami looks sad again. "They're going to practically be grownups by the time we get there, though. We're not going to get to play with them when they're babies or anything."

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:35] CA: "well, just seeing them will be great I think..."...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:36] AA: Sami nods. "Yeah." After an awkward silence for a little while she says. "Okay. I should start studying now. You want to help?"

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:37] CA: "Sure..." He straighens his shirt and sits down by a book...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] AA: (( End it there? ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] CA: ((sure))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:39] AA: (( I'll post. ))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] CA: ((thankie. Why do we torture these youngings so bad))

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;"> [01:40] AA: (( For our own amusement. ))